CLEAR THINKING How Resilient Are You? When things go belly up, when bad news arrives out of the blue, or when adversity strikes, how well do you cope? When one of those disastrous days turns up and everything seems to go south, how resilient are you? Have you developed your bounce-back ability? Are you able to absorb, with equanimity, whatever the world seems to throw at you? Or do you collapse in a heap and need several days - and perhaps an army of sympathisers and supporters to pull you through? Being resilient seems to come naturally to some people, while for others it feels almost impossible, depending on the nature of the event. In essence, resilience is our ability to recover and regain our strength - whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual -following some form of adversity. However, everyone's idea of adversity is different because we each have our own values, beliefs, habitual perceptions and expectations of life. What is a catastrophic disaster to one person may be little more than a pinprick to another. Maintaining Good Health Our body has a natural resilience built into it. Known as the immune system, its role is to eliminate or expel foreign invaders while helping us recover our physical strength after illness. We can either support it or hinder it through the quality of our thinking, the choices we make and the intentions we hold. Mental resilience is also built into our psyche. However, a lifetime of conditioning may have installed many mental "viruses" that sabotage our ability to adapt and recover. These include learned perceptions that generate negative thoughts and emotions; basing our self-worth on external factors such as appearance or possessions; believing that happiness depends upon other people or favourable circumstances; and expecting the love we seek to come from outside ourselves. These and many other beliefs set us up for adversity, weakening our capacity to adapt and bounce back in the face of life's challenges and other people's behaviour. For many people, a single negative thought opens the floodgates to many more, triggering a rollercoaster of emotions that undermine their bounce-back ability. Our level of resilience then depends on how quickly we can change our thinking and dissolve emotionally reactive states. Without regular practice, this is far from easy. Some people seem almost destined to build resilience because a series of particularly difficult events continually test and strengthen them. Others quickly learn to live out the lyrics of the famous song: "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again." Still others collapse into helplessness at the first sign that something has not gone according to plan or at the smallest loss of something they have come to value. Each person's capacity to recover is different, but it is a capacity that can always be strengthened and expanded. Making the Need for Resilience Redundant To recover from adversity, we need to discover the roots of resilience, which lie deeper than our physical or mental states. They are found within our thoughts and feelings - in the inner states of being that can eventually make even resilience an unnecessary quality. Only when we live from these deeper states do we experience life in such a way that adversity loses its power over us. First, the theory; then the practice. The theory gives us access to a state of consciousness that might be called innate knowingness. It can also be described as living beyond belief - a state that exists prior to our beliefs and conditioned thinking. In this state of innate knowingness, we do not merely believe - we know - that we have nothing to lose. We realise the truth that nothing and no one is ever truly mine. In this same state, we know that we already possess what we have been seeking. While we may be motivated to find peace in our hearts, love in our relationships and happiness in our lives, we come to realise that these natural states of being already exist within us. We also come to know that life is, in many ways, a game - and that we are here to play. Not in a childish sense (although there is room for that too), but in the sense of playing our unique role on life's stage. Sometimes that role involves helping those who are still suffering because they believe in illusions such as competition, status, appearance or beauty. They have yet to realise that what they seek already lies within them. When we know we have nothing to lose, we begin to see that nothing bad ever truly happens. Whatever happens simply... happens. Adversity arises when we believe we have personally lost something or someone upon whom we have become psychologically dependent for our peace, love or happiness. Yet these qualities are not found out there. They are expressions of who we are. Perhaps there is also a middle path—a philosophical path. The philosophical response to adversity sounds something like: "Ah well, stuff happens. It's not the end of the world. Life goes on, so let's move on. You can't change what's already happened." But adversity is also a messenger, and its message is simple: there is something within our own consciousness that needs to change. Something needs to shift at the level of our beliefs and perceptions. Why? Because adversity originates as belief, develops through perception, and ultimately expresses itself through our attitudes and behaviours. This is why one person's adversity is another person's celebration. To be free of adversity is to be free from any need either to mourn or to celebrate. Some may argue that such a life lacks passion or colour. Others would contend that it is only then that true living begins. For them, living fully—free from suffering and therefore free from adversity—is itself the greatest celebration. Question What was the most recent adversity in your life that affected you personally? Reflection What belief are you holding within your consciousness that shapes your perception of adversity—or of not getting what you want? Action How might you choose to respond the next time something similar happens? © Mike George